Cowboys, airports and lists

The first thing that came to mind is “hmmmm” again. And straight away i’m stuck.

I want a cowboy 🙂 Feels silly but hey i’m in Texas and they are e everywhere and look so manly. Yesterday one said hi to me in a supermarket and i’ve disintegrated right back into a high school girl, didn’t say anything back and ran away haha. I think i got to find myself a flirt school to attend, having spent all my life in long term relationships i think i have missed some important formative life skills. Now going out dating and being single at the ripe old age of 27 is fun but i am noticing some glaring gaps in my development.

It’s hard to write this morning, it seems my head is just constantly in the clouds. I guess i should just pull some of those clouds down onto the “paper”.

I am riding in a car going to lunch, i guess it doesn’t help the concentration.

I am scratched up from a monumental adventure yesterday. Found an overgrowth with no path, went through somebody’s property to get to it, the dog refused to go with me since the growth was so thick so i had to pick it up… And there I was, ripping through the bush, scratching myself on the thorns here and there, sausage dog in hand, scaling the ditches to finally emerge on a road close to my destination. I felt like a true commando on a rescue mission and have deep scratch marks all over to prove it.

I am having curious withdrawals of late – i want to be in an airport and the airplane. It provides such feelings like no other place – excitement of the unknown, wiping a slate clean and starting over, anticipation and a space to dream and scheme and think big. Maybe all this travelling is just an addiction to the airports. Maybe i should just not bother clearing passport control and fly from airport to airport? I like it when i have long layovers. The inability to do anything less while there makes space for guilt free enjoyment of things like people watching, book store browsing, magazine flipping and dreaming and day dreaming. Not like i can’t do any of those things out in the normal world but a mountain of other things i could or should be doing detracts from the experience.

Another interesting thing i just noticed – my writing reflects my extremely short attention span. I just can’t start with one topic and stick to it. I guess i could if i set myself a challenge to, but without such framework thoughts just go everywhere at once. But rather than view it as a weakness and something to work on, i will take it as a strength and further polish it into the art of concise list writing. Maybe not the best medium for life stories, i find it the most suited medium to express all sorts of other things my outlining only the essential it is highlighted and more poignant, plus the reader is then theft to make their own interpretations. It also helps focus so much better. I have used lists to create self portraits, how to’s, passions and goals. With a list, the important stuff is just there, staring you bravely in the face, not hiding or getting lost in the verbose clutter. I am definitely going to perfect list writing into one of my many life art forms.

Impatiently wanting to type up the remaining 100 or so words to start my “me time” hours – smoothie, pot of tea, blackberries, Italian sessions, other learning sessions (<3 learning), reading, catching up with friends and swinging on swings. I love my afternoons, but these supposedly “morning” pages are now encroaching on them.

What else is on my mind? Frustrated with not being able to write it up and move on with my day. Ok i am just going to write everything that goes through my head, for the hell of it….

I love my aloe vera plant, it is so vibrant and juicy and has 2 children but i still haven’t picked out a name for it. Various names of my friends come to mind but i want it to have its own name free from previous association, so i will patiently listen until it tells me.

Love my oils, went to sleep yesterday for the first time with a few drops of Serenity on my pillow and had the most amazing pleasure sensations falling asleep and waking up as it caressed me with its sweet and calming lavender scent. Going to study oils more intently now, i have a whole treasure trove of fragrant goodies but no idea of how to use them other than enjoy their various aromas. I so love being a sensuous person – the pleasures abound in every moment and in everything i do throughout the day: falling asleep and waking, bathroom rituals, eating, resting, reading, writing, cooking, walking, even working! Yep, looking at it this way, i just realised, i pretty much spend my whole life in pleasure.