Being a writer

These are going to be the weirdest circumstance morning pages for a while i’m sure – in the wild stretches of New Mexico somewhere in an RV, still half asleep with a 4 year old playing soldiers across the table from me and a 5 year old sleeping next to me. Relishing the uniqueness of the situation…

Playing 4 year olds are distracting.

Cramps, no water, stinging eyes, slightly runny nose (what am I all of a sudden allergic to in the middle of the desert?)

Apparently I was allergic to the lack of breakfast. Now that I have had a quick bite to eat (procrastination) all parts of my body are feeling fine. It did not make the tap water magically appear, but we’re on the road again so will be filling up before long.

It is such a lovely way to travel, this and trains definitely rule over the airplane journeys. Staring out the window at the world moving by is a lovely past time.

I have been contemplating and visualizing being a writer for the past few days, seeing how it feels and how it fits with my personality and lifestyle. Seems like a perfect fit, large part of the allure being the fact that it seems totally autonomous. But I remind myself that that was one of the main reasons I started my web development company, just so that I can work with the computer alone and not with people but quickly found out that any business, especially the service providing kind, is all about people. So here I am then, contemplating a second escapism career hoping to get it right this time ­čÖé

I am thinking about writing a lot though. Can’t quite disassociate it from my other passion of entrepreneurship, so pondering the various ways I can make money from it. In fact, most of my hobbies and passions are constantly thought of through this lens, for better or worse. My ideal, at least for now, is to keep having an amazing inspiring life, document it and finally find my market. The first and most important part seems to happen naturally enough, plus to have this undercurrent of “I got to keep having an amazing life – my livelihood depends on it” is a cool subconscious program to run. The second part I am working out as I go, adding various mediums, experimenting with different writing styles, even thinking of taking a writing class, but am afraid it might stifle my natural expression with rules to follow and make me lose, not gain, the “natural” edge. I would like to keep writing like me, not like a writer. The third part I am only now turning my attention to. Took me a little while to realize that I or my friends aren’t really my “typical” customer – people leading amazing lives are too busy leading them to read about someone else’s. It’s people aspiring to have an amazing life needing that extra kick and a confirmation that is possible, maybe a few handy tips and the a vast majority of those who feel they re not able to do so for one reason or another, fulfilling that longing vicariously. And that is quite a large market as indicated by the popularity of such books as Eat, Pray, Love.

Then there is the second approach of writing “how to” articles, planting thought seeds, shifting some paradigms. I have resisted it for this whole time and still do but with a slight attitude adjustment from “telling people what to do and how to think” to “sharing how I do it and how I think” I am slowly starting to incorporate more of that style as well.

My morning pages might as be called day pages. I was given a baby to hold, then a movie to watch which I had to watch then because we are going to Tombstone today and that’s what the movie was about. Great movie! Then it was lunch time, then after Lu ch clean up, then holding the baby again and here I am again.

I like long stretches of desert’y terrain outside the window with outlines of mountains on the horizon and small dust tornadoes here and there – just crossed the border into Arizona, my state du jour this year. After having one kind of adventure in Sedona for 1.5 months I am up for a different kind today visiting the old cowboy town.

Just drove past a walnut farm. Walnut was my favorite tree to climb at my grandparents every summer during the holidays. Not only did we live on a large hill overlooking the town, I could climb almost to the top of one of the tallest trees to boot – the view from up there was magnificent.

I was trying to feel into the energetics of the mountain yesterday while hiking inside the mountain, I thought it must be so powerful in there. But to my surprise I felt nothing. But looking at the from the window you can’t help but feel a certain sense of power and presence. So I do wonder now if that sense is nothing but a visual trick, some sort of spacial awareness thing. Or whether I can only perceive from a place of separation, in this case distance. And when I am right inside of it becomes harder to perceive, kind of like fish in water. The energy of the mountain is perceived in contrast to the different energy of its surroundings, yet when there’s┬ánothing but the mountain surrounding me I can’t perceive it since there is no contrasting energy. Ties right back to that teaching of the necessity of duality: it’s impossible to perceive what an amazing, wonderful paradise of a world we live in if there wasn’t any contrasting elements present.