It is hard to write hungry. But so far the experiment is working out fine – I really don’t feel like writing but nevertheless here I am doing it. It is all a bit strange really, I want to be a writer, so I am doing this Morning Pages to develop my writing, yet every morning I don’t feel like writing – so how much of a writer am I really?..
All this is just mental masturbation really, which I guess feels good, being masturbation after all. I am approaching 400 posts soon, quite a milestone, quite inspiring in its own right to keep at it.
I seriously can’t believe it, I have such short attention span, nearly got distracted to go something else just now. Come to think of it, I don’t think I have finished a single morning pages without at least one distraction break. So let me torture myself even further by committing to finishing these ones without a single diversion.
I started reading Osho’s Book of Secrets yesterday – fascinating stuff. Chapter 1 was like a condensed 10 page version of the most influential spiritual books I have read to date – can’t wait to read the other 79 and obviously highly highly recommend him. Considering hist Being In Love book was the one that have induced a major irreversible paradigm shift from monogamy to polyamory for me back 3 years ago, I wonder why it took me that long to read something else of his, but with this Book of Secrets it was most certainly worth the wait.
Just caught another distraction impulse and stopped it in its tracks, this might actually turn out to be fun. While the purpose of Morning Pages is to make me aware of and then silence my inner critic, if I commit to distraction free writing it will make me (painfully) aware of my inner ADD child.
I swung on swings yesterday for about 2 hours no stop – could not walk properly afterwards for a few minutes but it felt great. I think I could have done it for hours more really, the trick is to find swings where your fee don’t touch the ground at the lowest point then you can swing without having to pick up the legs each time and thus the muscles don’t get worn out. Polina’s swinging 101 tips and tricks. It is a great place to learn another language, listen to music, day dream and people watch – all while enjoying the near weightlessness near flying state. I can’t believe more people aren’t into it as much as I am.
And here come the food thoughts – bought a kilo of mushrooms yesterday, can’t wait to see what I can make with them. I have made Russian style fried potatoes with mushrooms the other day which tasted delightful, but today i am thinking to experiment and make mushroom and potato hash browns – fry mushrooms a bit and then mix them with shredded potato and egg mixture. Can’t wait to see how it will turn out, but both mushroom and hash browns being some of my favourite foods I am anticipating a delicious result.
1 page left to go. It really doesn’t get any easier with time or practice… A glass of Earl Grey Green tea later – still didn’t get any easier… And not a glass of tea is not a distraction, it is a focus aid.
I have finally carved myself a little home niche at my friend’s generously shared apartment. It might sound wierd but the key piece that makes any space into a home for me is my 2kg totally anti-minimalist travel accessory – hymalayan pink salt crystal lamp which doubles as my essential oil diffuser. I have finally replaced the blown globe after several weeks and as if by magic I suddenly feel grounded and “at home”. I am probably addicted to those negative ions dispersed when it heats up – a portable ocean front feeling.
I have really turned it into quite a lifestyle living at other people’s places. Invite me for a visit and you might get stuck with me for weeks on end, or until the visa runs out 🙂 But I buy groceries, cook, clean, organize the space, decorate and right at this moment practising empathy and listening skills so I guess I make a nice house elf, or house pixie, as it be. I think I would keep myself around if I was my own guest.
Alright – on the home stretch, 100 words to go. No new browser tabs open, although some fiddling with the Internet radio, nails, tea and essential oils diffuser did occur during the time of writing these pages. I filled in the missing 100 words a few paragraphs above where there belong more appropriately so now comes the mushroom hash brown creation time – YeeeHaaa!