Cooking, eating and weight management?!

Wow I really can’t do the pages properly. It seems that i sit there and let the disjointed stream of consciousness float by until some identifiable solid train of thought arrives that I deem worthy of writing down. The inner critic is as strong as ever, but rather than criticizing anything openly where it might be discovered and dealt with, it insidiously latched on to consciousness itself and works behind the scenes filtering and only letting out that which passes some unknown criteria or “coherency” for the lack of better word. But I am sure it is in the incoherent, illogical and mostly personal emotional expression where true creative genius resides, and it does not even get to have a voice to be criticized afterwords.

I do make crazy incoherent illogical food though, hmmm, thinking about it, it is perhaps because I have never cooked until about a year ago and thus never got any type of feedback about it, so my inner critic which is usually a reflection of some childhood outer one, isn’t paying attention to what’s going on in the kitchen, it hasn’t been programmed that cooking is something to be done a certain way, something that can be wrong or right or not good enough. Fascinating discovery…

It’s the 4th of July and I am in USA for the first time in my life on this date. So far nothing special seems to be going on except for everybody asking me what my plans are. My plans? Stay in bed for an hour or so, get out and eat last night’s left overs (only about a week more of SAD diet, got to enjoy it for all I can), sit in the back yard and read and learn, go for a walk and then start work at night. Sound like delicious plans for me to look forward to, yet seem “lame” to others. I feel I have really distilled my life’s essentials though and get to enjoy the majority of things that truly make me happy every single day – it’s pure heaven.

I finally, towards the end of my stay, figured out a way to regulate my food intake (since it’s so important on SAD diet and one skill I never quite developed) – I have my spinach smoothie with protein BEFORE the one main meal of the day, not later in the afternoon.this way, even if the eyes want to eat more, the body clearly and loudly protests since the protein just gives such feeling of satisfaction. My trick seems to be working as I have eaten less than I would expect of myself in the past week or so and not really feeling fat anymore. Give it some weeks and the love handles I grew over the past couple of months will melt away naturally as well.

Plus I have ordered a weight loss “product” for the first time in my life (while the critic is totally absent when I need it to criticize my food in take, it is ever vigilant when it comes to the way I look). Having been delving deeper and deeper into exploration of the wonderful properties of the collection of essential oils I have and using them throughout the day and slowly replacing a lot of my skin care and adding them to my chocolate, I have decided to give their Slim&Sassy oil blend a go, which is meant to speed up metabolism and regulate cravings between meals AND it has all the flavors in it I love – orange, cinnamon, grapefruit and ginger – yumm! Should arrive today, going to make a batch of chocolate with it to celebrate. If you want to try it out, order here and I will be writing more about my oils in the future as they are becoming an indispensable part of my delicious life the more I learn how to use them. I am signed up as a distributor because I buy and use a LOT of them.

Was reading my INTP profile again last night, first time in a couple of years, it was great to reconnect with my weirdness and have it laid out so logically with all the why’s and the won’t explained in neat psychological jargon. I love myself and it really makes my ego blow up huge to be in the rarest human specie category of only 1% of the population. Also makes me want to find other like me, that would be lots of fun I am sure.

Feeling really hungry now, I have decided not to get stuck into left overs until the pages are written, not even to make myself that smoothie to drink while I write as the process of cooking anything is highly unpredictable and can lead into all sorts of unknown territories, so now it is time to get up and out and enjoy the pleasures of food I have been carrying on so much about. Oh, and just realized, maybe to make my writing less food obsessed next time I SHOULD make myself that smoothie after all – noted!