Down in the dumps

I realised today that the reason I feel down in the dumps is because I am always complaining about it! So much for my positive outlook preaching. And even though I caught myself at it, I still could not stop fuming and complaining all evening at Romina’s. I am trying to resolve this existential conundrum for myself – if I am experiencing the most success of my business ever, and by most people’s opinion should just roll with it, then my I am simultaneously experiencing the highest levels of stress and lowest levels of well being? Is this really temporary or is the “business success” band wagon is just another word for a rat race?

Admittedly, I have had glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel last week. And general feelings of wellbeing from spending my sunday at home in the hammock reading. And those feelings did spill over into the next day, but not for long.

And yes, I keep telling myself for the 1000th time, I am growing in business in a lot of new and challenging directions – ALL AT ONCE. And once the growth is complete (proposal template done today, although it almost killed me!) I can go back to a far superior level of existence. But it has been a while since I was genuinely happy and it is worrying me – stressing me out! Which in turn makes me feel even less happy. And I, unlike the rest of them, acutely feel what the stress is doing to me physically as well as emotionally and even intellectually. It feels like a disease. So I will make an effort to keep up all my productivity and personal enhancement habits, which appear to take up time and attention, but I am sure secretly are keeping me sane. And slowly chip away at it. No more sleeping in either, rising with the sun has its own specialness and good vibes that I want to get used to.

  1. Dinner at R’s
  2. Proposal template complete
  3. Having a great chat and complain session
  4. Bright moon
  5. Getting even more business
  6. My dogs
  7. Staying on top of my dailies
  8. Media Monkey!
  9. Journaling
  10. Drinking water